Romantic comedies have quick fixes and neat happy endings. If it is a TV serial then it is all done within 30 mins of screen time (well.. minus the advertisements). Do you know what is being modeled for us? Attitudes of now!- instant gratification, shallowness and selfishness. I look to my own Favorite T.V. shows; Seinfeld, Curb your enthusiasm and The I.T. crowd. All have dysfunctional relationships. They all have selfish characters that we laugh at and love.. but should we be encouraging them? In Seinfeld the relationships are all transient, and they all find much fault in the person they are dating and subsequently dump them because of it… These are my models, this is where I learn what is right..I ask myself what do I know of love and successful relationships? I have some fantasy that my partner will facilitate me in becoming a better partner, but am I delusional and/ or placing too much on their shoulders? Do I need to come to the partnership ‘table’ ready to go? I think I am ready, but I am often wrong. I do know that I have learnt, and am currently learning and I know that learning is a continual process, but do I know enough? Will I meet the right man, the perfect man for me and then lose him due to my own stupidity? I guess I am asking, do you learn these things about what makes a good relationship, only whilst in a relationship? do you become better through your experiences?, through making mistakes along the way and should we fear these mistakes will lose us our loved one? I know that I am more discerning now than I have ever been and where I would once settle for a cute man that might have been; controlling, overbearing, selfish and/or not really commitment to me 100% , now I will not ‘settle’. Now I know what I want, I look for a cute man with a beautiful heart and soul that I connect with and I will not settle for less, why should I?.. Perhaps this is why I am still single?, perhaps…but I do know in the pit of me that I will not remain this way for ever and experience has taught me one thing -it is wrong to settle.
The question arises who am I to judge what constitutes a beautiful heart and soul and who has one?
I am no one but I, and the I that I am, may one day be seen has having a beautiful heart and soul and may be similarly wanted in return.