Wednesday, November 17, 2010

All kinds of office wrong: The bum bag

There is someone at my work who, for whatever reason, insists on wearing a bumbag. Now i don't mean, while he is on holiday (and let me point out that, 'while on holiday' is by no means justification for wearing such an item), but I mean that he wears it to work, at work, at his desk, while walking about the office and whilst at meetings. Really, it is beyond a fashion faux pas, it is OUTRAGEOUS!. I have no idea how I will tackle this offensive behaviour, partly because the wearer of the offending item is my superior.

I did suggest to my best friend that I tackle him to the ground and wrestle the bumbag off him (you've seen the profile pic, and obviously I am a 5' 7 dreamer.. but this is about principles dammit!! I am prepared to put my life on the line to save all of us!), .. Obviously I would do this because I am a good Samaritan and want to save him further shame from his fashion folly, the fact that seeing the bumbag hurts my eyes, has nothing to do with my decision.
My best friend being who she is, suggested that I refrain from doing a good deed, and simply avert my eyes.... but its like a bloody accident.. I can't avert my gaze no matter how much I try!!!!
And.....the bloody bumbag is not even in his general bum area, it covers his crotch !!! which makes it even worse, because he doesn't even know how to wear the stupid thing!!!

I then suggested to my best friend that I rugby tackle him to the ground, in lieu of a wrestle.. but being who she is, she replied 'Bro, don't do it, eh!' I am left to ponder..
what if... 

What if I had wizarding powers like Harry Potter?

A simple Accio bumbag !!! would bring the offending item to me.. which I could then place in the 'general waste' rubbish bin ( no recycling for bum bags!!!), and no wrestle or rugby tackle will be required. If that didn't work,
I am prepared to go one further and use the dreaded Avada Kedavra  curse, for death is not too extreme for the bum bag wearers of this world.. and do you know why?? Because looking at the bum bag being worn, makes me feel like i have been hit by the Crucio  curse!!!! Sure 'Avada Kedavra' is an unforgivable curse, But so is the Crucio  curse!! and knowing my luck, that bumbag wearer will probably use an Imperio curse on me when I least expect it and I'll suddenly don a bumbag myself!  Bloody hell!!!!!!  I am beginning to think these evil buggers cannot be beaten!!!

1 comment:

  1. Not sure which I am most insulted by, your imitation of me or that you didn't take him down despite my irrational fear that you would get hurt.