Thursday, September 18, 2014

Red.

Recently I took a series of photographs of things red. I have no idea why i did it. My eye was drawn to it all and over the course of afternoon, these are some of the images I came away with.
I hope you enjoy!

                                                   'Red #12 (2014).'

                                           'Red #13 (2014).'

                                                   'Red #20 (2014).'


                                                   'Red #28 (2014).  (for Mr Goldsztein)'


                                         'Interiors #171'

                                                  'Red #180 (2014).'


                                                  'Red #190 (2014).'


All photographs copyright matthew schiavello 2014.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Why I love you (parts i-iii).



Why I love you (parts i-iii).


i

When we first met,
my love was like
something gaudy,
well... gaudy for you.

It was like
a brightly coloured
floral bouquet

and dare I add,
always bursting forth.
Those moments when it did,
you would always turn
to look over your shoulder
to see who else bore witness.

And each time, you took those flowers quickly.
Almost as if, you didn't want others to see.
One corner of your mouth would turn and sneer,
the other raised in a smile.


That’s why I love you,
You’re as tough as nails                                 
But you’re not.


ii

You’d tear others down in a heartbeat,
Tear them down so bad,
they couldn’t be re-built,
But never me.
In my darkest days,
You lifted me up into the light.

'One day', I thought, 'I hope you'll let others in,
To see the real you'.
But for now, I’m guiltily glad,
I’m the only one.


You’re as tough as all hell,
But you’re not.
I always knew it
but saw it most,
when I had to leave
and that's why I love you.


iii


All those years away, 
you said,
never made you love me less.
Except you didn’t use the word love,
you never do
But you were there for me
And that’s the same thing.

We never talk about what happened,
But if we wanted to, we could.

I would also tell you
that the memory of you
Got me through
that terrible time.

And though you never visited,
You were there
Waiting for me
when I was finally able to return.
You stood at the front of that cursed place
Smiled and hugged me tight.
We kissed like it had been forever.
I said I love you and a tear slipped out.
I smelt of institutions.
You didn’t look over your shoulder that day,
You just held me tighter.

I remember thinking
how I wished that everyone who talked you down
could see you now
and maybe they would finally understand
why I’ve always loved you
(and why I always will).


copyright matthew schiavello 2013



Thursday, August 21, 2014

Horsham and the Wimmera Pt 2.

Here is the second part of my pictorial post of Horsham and the Wimmera.

Over the first part of this year, I did a few over night stays in Horsham and visited it's surrounding areas. I took my camera and here are a few shots from my trips. i really love the vastness of the Wimmera. I am in awe by the low horizon, which goes on forever with it's flat fields of grain. It is also a very lonely place, well as least I found it to be. Maybe it was because often there was nothing for as far as your eye could see?


                                                'Wimmera reflections #11'

                                                  'Wimmera sky #217'

                                              'Golden Hour in the Wimmera #59'

*For those that aren't familiar with 'golden hour', it is the time before sunset, where the sun gives everything a golden glow 



                                                       'Wimmera roads #235'

                                         'Silhouettes in the Wimmera at sunset   #541'


All photographs copyright matthew schiavello 2012

Thursday, August 7, 2014

New Music August 2014


It has been a while since I posted some new music. These below tracks may not have been released this past month or even this year, but I love them enough to want to share them with you. I do so hope that you may be able to find some time to listen to them and fall in love with some of them yourself! This post has a mix of acoustic, plugged in, raw, honest and fun sounds. Hopefully something for everyone.


Helen Begley- 'West Brunswick'

This first track is by a local lady who I saw at a songwriters in the round gig. From the moment she started to sing her songs I was captivated. Why hadn't I heard of her before? Sure my mate Jody had been telling me to check her out and there always seemed to be something getting in the way of me being able to.. and now I'm kicking myself for not checking her out sooner!... Anyway, Helen Begley is the name of the artist.  Do check out her website! This track is off her LP 'West Brunswick', which is such a great Lp! I sometimes play it in my studio when I am painting.  I have attached the title track below. From the start there are such great lines (which remind me of early Paul Simon or Joni Mitchel), such as:

'Standing on the overpass in winter
The icy wind will slap you as it blows
Cars rush to the gorgeous city
West Brunswicks' not that pretty
from this road

On the local creek bed made of concrete
Philosophers leave words in thick black paint
 Saying dream as if you'll live forever
and live as if you'll die tomorrow

As I lie awake on lonely nights,
I hear the rumble of the 55*
And the braking trucks on their freeway ride,
A woman screams
you killed my life'



* the 55 is the number of the tram that runs across the city through to West Brunswick.





Perfume Genius- "Hood"

'Perfume Genius' is the stage name of American Mike Hadreas. My friend Flo from Paris, put me onto this guy and I love this track and video. Pron actor Árpad Miklós (Péter Kozma), who died early 2014 from an apparent suicide,  is in the video below. This track has such beautiful lyrics like:

 "You would never call me baby
If you knew me true
Oh, but I waited so long for your love
I am scared baby that I can't keep it up for long"

Perfume Genius- "Hood"



Future Islands- "Seasons (waiting on you)".

I can't work this band out. I have seen a few live clips and in particular their performance of Seasons(waiting on you), on Letterman, was insane in very confusing way. Is the singer dancing to his own drum or taking the piss? Still none of that diminishes my love of this track, which I purchased on i-tunes recently.


Future Islands- "Seasons (waiting on you)"




Tobias Jesso Jnr

Here is a guy who is getting lot's of press and hype at the moment, all from some demos and no actual releases. I actually really like the two tracks I have heard, which are just Tobias and piano. Yesterday I ordered a 5 pack of his demos on single sided flexi disc (ie flimsy plastic to play to the turntable). Yay!

Tobias Jesso Jnr- 'True Love'




Something Fun that isn't new, but I rediscovered it recently, is this hilariously and well done spoof of Bonnie Tyler's 'Total Eclipse of the heart', where they literally sing what is going on in the video clip!
Not sure who did this but the video says: Lead Vocals-PersephoneMaewyn, Lyrics/vocal/editing dascottjr.

Total Eclipse of the Heart (literal video version)






Recently I brought a couple of reissued albums on vinyl.

Life without Buildings- Any Other City

I love this Lp and this group from Glasgow. This Lp was originally released in 2001 and the band then broke up in 2002. The track 'The Leanover' is rambling, urgent and has a realness to it. I have been known to sing along to this loudly in  the car. This Lp was re-released as part of record day 2014!

Life without Buildings- 'The Leanover'



Deerhoof- 'Friend Opportunity'

This San Francisco noise-pop band are just so interesting! You never know what will happen with their albums or tracks which can just take a turn somewhere else when you least expect it!   This album also has one of my favourite album covers. A piece of art I wished I had done myself! This is another re-release on vinyl.

Deerhoof- '+81'





Thursday, July 24, 2014

Horsham and the Wimmera. Pt 1

Over the first part of this year, as part of  my then job,  I did a few overnight stays in Horsham and visited it's surrounding areas. I took my camera and here are a few shots from my trips. I really love the vastness of the Wimmera. I am in awe by the low horizon, which seems to go on forever with it's flat fields of grain. It also seemed a very lonely place, maybe because often there was nothing for as far as your eye could see?


                                                      'The Wimmera #105'

                                                    'Silos in the Wimmera #111'

                                           'Twilight in the Wimmera  #159'


'Dusk in the Wimmera  #201'


                                       "Sundown at Mount Arapiles #51"

                                  'Dimboola's pink salt lake at the close of day #206'

                                            'Dimboola's pink salt lake at the close of day #190'

                                  'Somewhere along the Wimmera Highway at dusk #147'







All photographs, copyright matthew schiavello 2014

Thursday, July 10, 2014

The mature men and me


I am attracted to maturity. More specifically, emotional maturity. In my folly I have connected this with maturity of years, which is not always the case. I cannot count the number of men I have met or dated who where older than me in age, yet behaved like a person who was much, much younger. This has led to many an interesting experience. Because these men have been older, it has meant that some of them came from a time where they have felt it was not possible to be openly gay. Some took a path of heterosexual marriage, some have been single for as long as they could recall, some have embraced a recently new found life of very gay abandon, others had never dated or known the touch of a lover....and then there was me.

Me, who should have known better. Me who is as confused as the next man. Me who is as immature as those I judge. Me who over-thinks EVERYTHING. What is my search for maturity really about? What am I lacking or needing in my life that I hope this mature other may fulfill? Am I really looking for a strong mature male role model or father figure to succeed where my father and step father didn't? Surely that is too obvious and clichéd to be true. Me, the boy who never stood on the shoulder of the giant, or lay in the giant's warm loving arms. Me who never felt safe that my father was there to protect me. Me, who was abandoned emotionally and left to fend for myself... Is this the answer then? After all these years, am I simply wanting a surrogate father, a mature man to love and accept the boy in me?

Maybe I am distracted by my past failings with the fathers in my early life, maybe it has nothing to do with that. Maybe I am over-thinking things and maybe, just maybe this is simply about wanting emotional maturity in a partner. Even saying that, my experiences show that I have been looking in the wrong places for it, as well as in the wrong people. In my actively seeking, searching and expecting, I have found only disappointment. How could it be otherwise? None can raise themselves up to the bar my expectations have set, how can they? Why should they? Besides, everyone I meet thinks that they are mature, yes, everyone... even me.


'You're twenty years younger than me', he said with a big grin and an ego the size of something way too big for it's own good. I realised then that this wasn't his humility expressing  gratitude that he was loved for who he was, regardless of age, no, this was him stating I was a trophy of sorts for his ego to proudly show off.  The younger lover. It dawned on me that I had become an unwitting victim to my own misguided desire. Even though I had realised a long time ago that maturity of age does not equal emotional maturity, here I still was, left feeling cheap, used and that I only had myself to blame...and then there was me. Yes, me, here, now and wondering what the next step is and over-thinking it as usual.

Maybe it is time to throw away all of my preconceived idea's about age and maturity. After all, doesn't the cliché go something like: Age is just a number and it is what's inside that counts. My next step could be to meet people, get to know them and then see what happens. It might finally be time to just take things as they come and 'roll with' life, without my preconceived idea's, expectations or my over thinking. For how can you be disappointed when you don't have expectations?



Thursday, June 26, 2014

Experiments on/with film

I recently did some experimenting on film from my camera, that was not processed properly. Ok, small fib, truth be told, I did not correctly load the film into my camera. I then went about and shot the whole roll of film, thinking I had some great shots and later discovered it was all blank.... So rather than mope about, I decided to experiment with the failed film negative and scan the results. I used a combination of acetone and watercolour paints to get these results.
















all images copyright matthew schiavello 2014