The news (29/06/14)
It was a Sunday
I remember it was raining as you got into my car.
You plonked yourself into the passenger seat and stared straight ahead.
Your eyes fixed themselves on the grey wetness that sat on the other side of the windscreen.
From out of nowhere
you tensely stated
“I don’t know how to say this, so I’ll just blurt it out…”
Everything seemed to stop as my mind raced.
I thought of everything you were possibly going to say…
Well, ‘everything’ which was centred around your rejection of me.
It seems I thought of everything except
It took me a while to realise that your lips had stopped moving.
In all honesty, I wasn’t completely surprised by the news,
I was confused
by what was happening here, here right now.
Your eyes darted towards mine and then as quickly, darted back towards the rain hitting the windscreen,
Except… you were looking past it.
Your body tensed, as if readying itself to open the car door and flee at any moment.
We were still parked out the front of your apartment.
The lines above your tense eyes read, ‘In a few steps I could escape to the safety of home’.
I guess you were worried that I would reject you, maybe you even feared it.
I turned to you and smiled.
I loved you just the same.
We hugged and I wanted to kiss you,
Back then, it would have been our first.
Even now, the only thing I still don’t understand,
Is why it was you and not me.
It should have been me,
For all the many reasons you will never need to know.
copyright matthew schiavello 2014