Photos from Boston

 I was in Boston very early in the new year and the tempreture was so very cold.. one day was between -16 to  -18 Celsius. Here are some photos.

 

Escaping the cold, by being indoors. Don't let the clear looking sky fool you. 

 

Night time in black and white.

A mound of dirty snow.

A slightly warmer day to walk around in, perhaps only -5 to -7 Celsius.

 

I definately need to go back in warmer times.

.

Images copyright Matthew Schiavello.

After Alex... (New Years Eve 2019, NYC . 9412)

After Alex... (New Years Eve 2019, NYC . 9412)

.
You pointed out the light as we went on a walk that afternoon.
Which is why I name this 'after' you.
You stopped at every place I asked you to and never looked bored, nor were impatient.
It was the last day of the year.
We were invited to a party, but I said that I preferred to just be with you.
You smiled in agreeance as we headed back to your place and ordered in.
We drank to celebrate life and us.
I tried to keep up with you, and ended up on the bathroom floor at 3am.
I should have known better.
It was a good reminder to be myself when I am with you.
It was a good reminder that I don't need to impress you,
as you accept and love me just as I am,
as I do you.
.
We woke up together on New Days day.
I felt the luckiest person in the world.
Not because I didn't have a hangover,
But because you had your arms around me.
We lay in bed for ages
just being with each other.

It was the perfect start to a new year.

copyright matthew schiavello 2020

Don't look back in Anger

Each month a friend and I take it in turn to chose a theme, to come up with something creative to post on Instagram. Usually I post a photograph. But this months, theme, chosen by my friend Jules 'Don't look back in anger', made me think about doing something different. Here is my contribution (shared here, because Intsagram is not good for long text posts, and try as I did, I couldn't fix the crap formatting.

Don't look back in anger:

“Don’t look back in anger”, they said. Your anger makes us feel uncomfortable. Your anger scares us.  Your anger is not needed. It is vulgar.

The truth is they don’t know what to do with my anger, it is too real. My anger is a reminder of what they failed to protect me from, from that which has deeply scarred me. The truth is, my anger helped me survive. My anger stopped me ending my life. My anger gave me the strength to make it to the other side. The truth is, my anger is a flag, it yells and draws attention to those that hurt me, to those that ‘got away with it’, there were no consequences for them. My anger reminds this society and the individuals in it, that they failed me, as they failed and still fail many others.

“Don’t look back in anger” they say, sipping their lattes and brunching away. Don’t you want to be happy? Can’t you move on?   Can’t you let it go, or forget about it? These demands, openly disguised as questions, make them as guilty as those who hurt me, who abused me. It makes them complicit in covering up the acts and shows them as colluding. They may as well have held me down those many, many times.

Don’t tell me to stop looking back in anger. Don’t. 

I am not responsible for your feelings of uncomfortableness. I am not responsible for your fear of my anger. I get it. I really do. The truth is, that you don’t know how to sit with my anger and my hurt.  That is ok, I don’t expect you to.

‘But, haven’t you been angry for long enough now?’ they ask.  Disappointed, I gently shake my head from side to side and reply ‘No’.

copyright matthew schiavello 2017

Brisbane

AK and I went to Brisbane (and Nth Stradbroke Island) for a couple of days. It was beautiful.
Here are some photos I took.

At the hotel/apartment:

At the train station:

At the gardens:

All photographs copyright matthew schiavello 2016

Late Autumn, Early Winter in Melbourne 2016

Here are a few photographs I have taken whilst walking about over the past 3-4 weeks. Just as Autumn turned to Winter.

I love reflections:

The sun is so low around this time of year. Here is a shot taken around midday, where the shadows were long:

Something bright and colourful:

All photographs copyright matthew schiavello 2016

The city after the rain.

After a recent couple of days of rain and constant drizzle, AK and I went into the city and took our cameras. I am often captivated by reflections and/or shadows.
Here are a few images I took of wet Melbourne, its reflections and shadows.

AK is so cheeky getting in my shots! I think he secretly loves having his photo taken!

These next few images are about the play between shadow and light, negative space, lines and texture.

Wet city spaces:

All images copyright matthew schiavello 2016.

A quiet day on the bay

AK and I went for a walk around the bay (Port Phillip), one Saturday. We took a train to one station, then walked for hours and hours, to another station on another line. I think we stopped for coffee twice. At one point, the water was so, so calm, I just had to take some photos. I was particularly captivated by the yellow poles sitting out there on their own, amidst the  silver blue seas and sky. In some parts, you couldn't tell where the horizon line was, as the sky and seas melded into one. Here are some of the my photographs from that walk:

                                              ‘The Bay on a quiet day #57′

                                                       ‘Yellow Pole #63’

                                                  ‘Yellow Pole #71’

                                                ‘The Bay on a quiet day #77′

all photographs copyright matthew schiavello 2015.

The News

The news   (29/06/14)

It was a Sunday

I remember it was raining as you got into my car.

You plonked yourself into the passenger seat and stared straight ahead.

Your eyes fixed themselves on the grey wetness that sat on the other side of the windscreen.

From out of nowhere

 you tensely stated

 “I don’t know how to say this, so I’ll just blurt it out…”

Everything seemed to stop as my mind raced.

I thought of everything you were possibly going to say…

Well, ‘everything’ which was centred around your rejection of me.

It seems I thought of everything except 

this.

It took me a while to realise that your lips had stopped moving.

In all honesty, I wasn’t completely surprised by the news,

I was confused

by what was happening here, here right now.

Your eyes darted towards mine and then as quickly, darted back towards the rain hitting the windscreen,

Except… you were looking past it.

Your body tensed, as if readying itself to open the car door and flee at any moment.

We were still parked out the front of your apartment.

The lines above your tense eyes read, ‘In a few steps I could escape to the safety of  home’.

Upon reflection,

 I guess you were worried that I would reject you, maybe you even feared it.

I turned to you and smiled.

I loved you just the same.

We hugged and I wanted to kiss you,

Back then, it would have been our first.

Even now, the only thing I still don’t understand,

Is why it was you and not me.

It should have been me,

For all the many reasons you will never need to know.

copyright matthew schiavello 2014

For him, the man who broke my heart.

There is nothing like love and loss to stir one to write again. Here are a handful of some recent writings, presented in chronological order. In case you are wondering, no, he never saw or knew of these.


       ----

You worry about the cold Melbourne winters,
worry not.
I will warm you

I will weave for you
whatever you need
out of my overflowing love
that has waited for so long.


       ----

I'd sing you a song,
or write you a poem,
of my love
and my hope of a life together.

But I fear
you would not listen
nor enjoy it for what it was.
Instead you would
compare
it to what you had,
or to the fantasy
of what might be.

       ----


If I could open my heart
and show it's trueness to you
Give you my eyes,
So that you know I see
your faults
and that I love you
regardless....

would that then be enough?

       ----


I am writing about you
because
I am
not over you,

yet.

But soon hope to be,
as do similarly hope
my friends and family
for they don't believe
you worth my time

or

theirs.

       ----

The problem with absence,
is that it makes
the heart grow fonder.

The problem with time, is that
memories fade and
hurt heals.

The problem with the present, is
your boyish charm
and warm smile,
remind me
how attracted I am
and how much I cared.


       ----


Now that I am free,
now that I am happy
(or at least telling myself I am),
I don't wish you ill,
just insight
and that one day
you may feel motivated
and strong enough
to change.
Not for me,
but for you
and for him, whoever he may be.


       ----


all words copyright matthew schiavello 2014.

Holidays 2013, Netherlands and Belgium pt 9 : Amsterdam - The Arts (pt 1).

Continuing on my irregular blog posts about my holiday late last year to the Netherlands and Belgium are a couple of posts on the art I saw. During my visit to Amsterdam, I went to a handful of beautiful galleries and museums. The Rijksmuseum, which is the State Museum, was one such museum. It is such a beautiful building and has a huge and varied collection. As I love modern art, I was a little disappointed with it's small modern art collection, but that is ok, as I later visited the Stedelijk Museum. This was a favourite of mine, as it is a museum of modern art and had a lovely collection. I could have stayed there forever! In fact, if I ever visit Amsterdam again, I will definitely revisit the Stedelijk Museum.

 Being in Amsterdam, of course I had to visit the Van Gogh Museum! Unfortunately, I was a little disappointed with the pieces on show. I much preferred my visit to the Musée d'Orsay in Paris in 2010 and the beautiful Van Gogh paintings I had seen there. On that same trip overseas, on my way back home, I stopped off at New York and went to the  Museum of Modern Art, where I saw some more beautiful Van Gogh's!  As such, I shouldn't really complain. It wasn't all art museum's though, I also visited Anne Frank's house and yes, I became emotional! 

In the next blog post I will talk about some of the photographic galleries/museums I visited.  Below are some photos from some of my visit's to the museum's mentioned above. I was too overwhelmed at the Frank House to take any photographs and from memory, you may not have been allowed to.


Images from the Rijksmuseum:

Looking through the coloured glass panels at some structural part of the building.. yes I know, I should have been looking at the art that surrounded me, But I can't help myself:

Some famous painting everyone wanted to see...something about Night Watchmen. I can never understand the queues for certain images (which we are all told are 'masterpieces' and we must see them), while so many other beautiful images are left with no one appreciating them...

I was drawn to something  that caught my eye in the stairwell, but I can't recall what it was I photographed:

Images from the Stedelijk Museum:

I have posted this image on my tumblr account and titled it:
 'The moment the viewer of art, becomes art.'

This next one was also recently shared on my tumblr account: 'Above us, around us, within us'

Images from the Van Gogh Museum.

I was taking photos of the details of the building, the lighting, corners, parts of the framing that held the paintings/exhibits and was told by security to stop because it was not allowed. I explained what I was doing, but to no avail. Still I managed to snap a few things before they had spoken to me.

All photographs copyright matthew schiavello 2014