The benefits of dating someone less attractive than yourself.

Ugly partner Versus Beautiful partner… If you are ever faced with this choice then take some advice- always go ugly! Or for the politically correct, go the ‘attractively challenged’. ‘Why’ ?... but surely the answer is quite obvious… no? ok… well let me clarify an important point to begin with… If you only want a moment or two.. then the choice is up to you, but if you are looking for something more lasting, then go ugly.

Most people know where they sit on the beauty scale ( I wonder if it’s more of a bell curve with beautiful being above the 95^th percentile ).. anyway, essentially the scale has beautiful at one end, and ugly at the other… Personally,  I am no fool and I know that I am further away from the 95^th percentile than I am closer to it… well actually ignore me for once  because I am a bad example,  I am outspoken, honest and defy the rules… of which I should explain. ‘The rules’… not only do people generally know where they sit on the beauty (or lack thereof) scale, but they usually act accordingly. A person who knows that they are beautiful, expects to be appreciated and you had better know how lucky you are that they are in your life!!! This applies to any one of lesser beauty to them. The ugly person.. well, those poor souls are just grateful to anyone for having them!! They are well aware that they sit on the wrong end of the beauty scale, so will cherish you and count their lucky stars till it’s all over. Of course this only applies to people who are more attractive than they are.

So when it comes to dating- short term, very short term, or very very short term, choose who ever rocks your boat. But, when it comes to a lasting relationship, it makes sense to choose someone less attractive than you- because you will be cherished and valued more!… and frankly the less attractive they are the better!!!! (obviously this needs to be done within reason…let’s not go all crazy here, you know that you can have too much of a good thing), just remember -it’s all about the benefits! Date ugly, be happy!

reclaiming life and a recipe for dealing with unhealthy thoughts!!!

Recently I have been thinking about someone I like…but I was thinking about him to the point where I was anxious about what he thought, felt and how he might react to what I said and did. Yeah, I was pretty insecure !! But now I have turned a corner. Now I am reclaiming my life.  Sure you’ve heard it all before, I am only human, and am one of those annoying ‘two steps forwards, one and a half steps back’ kind of people. I have been a bit up and down of late and who knows how I might feel tomorrow, God knows I don’t!! But for now I am feeling better and not worrying so much about how he views me. The craziest thing is that this guy that I am so worried about is the loveliest person in the world and I can not ever imagine him ever wanting anyone to be anything other than them selves! In fact, I could not imagine this person not being accepting of anyone, and here I foolishly stand worried, creating a state of anxiousness for myself.

Here is a ‘recipe’ I use (when I remember), for dealing with unhealthy thoughts:

Step 1- Recognise/Acknowledge the thought and then let it go.

Step 2- If you find that the thoughts come back, then try step 1 again, If the thoughts keep coming back then try replacing the thought with another thought such as focusing on your breath.

Focusing on your breath: is where you focus or shift your attention to the sensation of your breath/the air entering and leaving the end of your nose. If you have difficulty with this one you can try focusing on the sensation of your chest/stomach rising and falling with each breath. The main point is that you are thinking about and noticing the physical experience of these acts. The great thing about this activity is that this is a breathing meditation, so apart from shifting your attention from anxiety provoking thoughts, the focus on breathing will also hopefully be claming and relaxing. A double win !!!!