Saturday, September 4, 2010

The good, the bad and the ugly: Sept 2010

The good-
Recently I finally gave in and purchased moistened toilet paper!!! Yes, those wacky ‘flushable toilet hygiene wipes’ . What can I say.. I am getting older!! Where I would once be a strict recycled unbleached- no print toilet paper, kind of person….Proudly wearing my sandpapered backside as an eco-warrior badge of sorts, now I am at the age where I now want something soft and gentle on my most precious of body parts… well second of most precious of body parts!!  Selling out my eco-values??? Probably… but that’s what happens with age..perhaps calling it ‘re-considering my priorities’ will help me sleep better at night? Nah, I think the soft gentle slightly moistened toilet wipes will instead.

The bad-
I used to work on an office and received a multitude of the dreaded and most painful of painfuls - the paper cut! But after a while something happened.. inexplicably I was no longer a victim of this abhorrent of work place accidents… instead something worse has happened.. I am now a magnet for the cardboard cut!!! some think it a myth.. but believe me it happens, and does most times that I come into contact with cardboard. In my new job just last week, I was filling the photocopier with more paper, which I was retrieving out of a cardboard box and BAM!! KAPOW!!!!! you guessed it!! OUCH!!!

The ugly
I have been going to Italian barbers’ for years… I can’t recall a time when I didn’t…well maybe I threw in a couple of Greeks from time to time.. but recently I tried to expand my horizons and try a local middle eastern barber. I now feel that his barbering license needs to be revoked, for he was cruel and inhumane!!!  I mean, come on.. what is there to do with that tiny remaining follicled space a top my head? How can you do some much wrong with so little???? Not only did he shave a ‘gap’ on each side of my head between my ‘sideburns’ and my beard… I mean … WTF????.. just leave the hair to grow where ever it wants to.. If we encourage it, perhaps it will try recamping up top, where everyone but me seems to be having a hair party.. but more importantly and painfully..  This ‘barber’ dry shaved my neck !!!!  YOWSER !!!!  it still stings like all kinds of hell… When did they start teaching that trick in barber school???



  1. You only get one arse ... treasure it! It's not as if you have to worry about handing the planet on to your children ... I dont. TS

  2. Thanks TS :-)
    Good point about looking after my arse... and it is a little treasure!!! Possibly not of national treasure status though...
    Whilst I don't currently have children, you never know what might happen tomorrow :-) And i do have nephews and nieces... it would be nice to leave them something decent at l;east ;-)
    I just need to find that compromise, cause i can't go back to being the eco-warrior i once (sort of) was.. my poor treasure of an arse just couldn't bear it!

  3. If you are considering National Treasure status for your arse, I should warn you that Heritage Victoria has a HUGE BACKLOG of applications waiting to make the list, and the only sites being processed are those that are UNDER THREAT.

  4. Buy a set of clippers and and wet shave you own neck, that looks mighty sore, have you tried the wet arse wipes, they may ease that redness as well.

  5. I use 100% recycled, you selfish 4 ply prick