Saturday, April 21, 2012

All things Melbourne part 1- The Melbournian and Day

The Melbournian:

 We Melbournians love anything as long as it comes in black... well, that is not completely true.. just kind of. We are kind, friendly and forgiving. Ignore the stories of the gangland wars, they happen everywhere and only add an edginess to our beautiful city. We love fashion and have built an ever growing shrine to it, called - 'Chadstone'. We invented Aussie rules football. Back when I was a child and referred to as 'Master' (oh, how I do miss those days... ), it was called VFL- The Victorian Football League.. now those other States (yes those ones full of terrible coffee.. (it is a widely known fact that we Melbournians are coffee snobs)), anyway, now those other states have honed in on our action..and just to show how nice we are and that we can share, we let them join in on the fun and we relabeled it 'AFL' .. 'A' for Australian. Speaking of which, Melbournians will generally support at least one AFL team and will look dumbfounded at you if the word 'rugby' is murmured, even if you mention 'Melbourne Storm'. At this point I should be very clear that it is not all about sports, for we Melbournians are a cultured bunch and we built an Arts Center to prove it!

Melbournians also love lanes and alleyways and going to cute pokey, cool bars that seemingly pop up over night! We love the new and the novel and then drop what ever it is like a hot cake the moment something better comes along.. probably explains why we are a city full of people either transitioning to their next relationship, or like myself, seemingly permanently single. Coming back to cool new places, the general Melbournian rule of thumb is 'the more people that know of a place, the less likely we are to go'. We Melbournians are complex creatures, we may talk your ear off about some obscure film or arts festival, or bang on about our art or music project that we are trying to get up and running (we are all aspiring artists or musos). If you are a 'northsider' like myself, you probably also go to 'open turntable' nights and spin leftfield indie tunes (throwing in a few mainstream hits of yesteryear.. just to be ironic and 'cool'). Those northsiders that can, squeeze themselves into their  hipster ultra-skinny leg jeans (well, as skinny as we can get our fat thighs into), speaking of fat, you can spot Northsiders who are over thirty by our one-too-many-brunches tummy, spilling over the waistband of our too tight pants. Some of us may be found with our guts sucked in and pondering if corsets will ever be cool again, and if so, where can we buy them (umm maybe that one is just me).  When not pondering about corsets, we will be blogging, or taking photos of the food we have eaten, to then review in our blog, alongside our inspired 'Band of the moment' reviews. We will read broadsheets like The Age and pretend we know the difference between The Labour and Liberal Parties, as we sip lattes and alcoholic beverages in cafes and bars...we may seem a pretentious bunch, but we're not. If a Melbournian sees you on your own, we will smile, we may say say hello and ask if you would like to join us... and maybe, just maybe we could workshop an idea for a collaborative conceptual art piece!!  
Speaking of which,  I have this one idea for something called 'Multicultural, Indigenous, Disadvantaged Women: Left lonely and marginalized but still hopeful of a world that is Environmentally Sustainable and free of Domestic Violence, as we search for our voices in an ever changing  community of cultural and religious diversity'. Given that the title hits most of the funding 'buzz words', there is a really good chance that we might be able to apply for some funding from the City of Moreland, to put it together and present it at next years Sydney Road Festival!! .. err I'm just saying.... 

Here are some Photographs of the city during the day:

The view from 48 Floors up:

Back on the ground :

Bikes are all the rage:

Some of Melbourne's famous Lanes:

We love to sit, eat and drink!

No matter how small, or how dirty a lane is, we will probably set up an eatery or bar. Take this for example:

I am sure even this lane will have a queue waiting to be seated soon!!! The kitchen/unisex toilet can go right behind that colorful screen!!

Melbourne loves it's Sports:
The G for those who don't know... as in MCG... as in Melbourne Cricket Ground. Where confusingly, football is also played. They should just call it the Melbourne Sports Ground- MSG..ummm on second thoughts, maybe not.

 Melbourne loves it's Arts:

Melbourne loves it's bookstores:

Melbourne loves it's many beautiful parks:

And as dusk falls over the 'top end' of town, let us say goodbye for now.. and meet back here at Birrarung Marr next week for part 2- 'Twilight and Melbourne by night'!.

All photographs, copyright Matthew Schiavello 2012.


  1. You've made me so incredibly homesick! Miss the cute pokey bars though I'm probably too old to be frequenting them now.

    1. thanks Wok and Spoon.. Your city misses you!!!

  2. GREAT ARTICLE, Matthew! Beautiful photos and excellent observations! Made me miss my second favorite city in the world.

    1. Thanks Marty...
      Melbourne misses you and said herself, that you should come over here and apply for some funding to write more of your amazing plays!!!

  3. great post Fubs.
    liked both the words and the visuals

  4. What does this city has to offer to housewives?

    1. Good Question! Housewives have the city and all that exists within it, all to themselves. I suggest that housewives avoid the uncomfortable crush of peak travel times and to also avoid the student and city workers lunch crush, opt for either an early or late lunch. Check with galleries if they have students arriving en masse and ask they gallery's suggestions for best times to visit. Plan your day well and the good housewife will have been immersed in some culture, had a cafe latte, shopped in Collins st and returned home in time to cook their partner a three course dinner.

      thanks for checking out my blog ;-)

  5. A person from Melbourne is a MELBURNIAN!!
    The variant spelling ‘Melbournian’ is considered grammatically incorrect as it would make us a mel-BORN-ian instead …

    1. Hello Lynette and thank you for the correction. I had a dear friend who would often proof my blog posts, but alas he passed away a while ago. :-( I am always on the look out for a proof reader!
      kind regards matthew @ matthew schiavello .com.