Saturday, May 12, 2012

The good, the bad and the Ugly- May 2012

The Good: Friends.

They say a friend in need, is a friend in deed. Recently, I was in a pickle and needed to email some example 'headshots' to someone. I only had a couple of days, and was really busy with other work... one frantic email and many kind friends lined up to be models! Bless them for saving my neck. Here are a variety of shots that friends have kindly 'modeled' for me.


The Bad: Being single for too long.

I think I may have been single for too is why:

Recently I was wined, dined and had the most magnificent evening .. ever! Actually, I think I may have met 'The One'! Sick of waiting to be asked out, I decided to take myself out. In fact, I made a night of it. Pre-dinner drinks, nice meal at a posh place and even more drinks. I was witty. I was a real gentleman. I opened doors for myself, whenever I needed to sit, I pulled my chair out for myself and pushed it in afterwards... I sparkled, I shone, I made myself feel like a million dollars! Genuine compliment's were generously handed out and I, oh how I made myself laugh! I am such a funny and warm guy! What fun the royal 'we' had that night! Did I mention charm? Gosh, I have never met anyone so charming!

After such a marvelous time, I had to invite myself back for a night cap. On the way home in the back of the taxi, as we tenderly held hands, I caught myself excitedly wondering if I might be 'the one'. I am everything I would want in a man! When we arrived at my place, some serious aromatherapy happened, as did a lot of candles and muzak. Oh yes, the mood was set for my man and I. Let me tell you my friends, that I was not disappointed. It was everything I thought it would be and more! I was gentle, I was passionate, I was full of surprises and I loved me like no other. In the morning, I was still there! I didn't sneak out on myself during the small hours of the morning, leaving a note that made me feel cheap and dirty... No, I stayed and even made myself breakfast. Fingers crossed, because I think this might be it!

The Ugly: Imitation as a form of flattery?

It’s not easy being me. I try and do my thing and suddenly everyone else is doing it.  You just have to see me to know that I am a style maker. Forty,  short, bald and tubby… oh.. and the glasses.  Even that is being imitated!!  Every time I walk down the street, I am faced with copies of me… albeit lesser copies. Over Easter I visited my brother and discovered he’d stolen my latest style invention ‘the beard’. I had just made a change from my old ‘thing’ -the constant three day growth.. which he (yes, my brother again) recently copied. WTF? And if you know what ‘WTF’ means.. then you know that yet another of my ‘things’ has been stolen…. It’s a hard life.. a friend of mine is the worst.. lets just call her Paula (because that is the thief’s name), she steals everything I write!  Just for the record, the use and overuse of exclamation marks is mine!!!!!  As is starting an email with ‘hey’. Misspelling and poor grammar- yep, who’s ya daddy? I, matthew laurence schiavello,  invented those little beauties.  I could go on about it, but I tired of ‘going on about things’ ages ago and gladly let the imitators keep that one.. even though they still don’t get the subtle nuances of it. Anyway, Is it a form of flattery when people steal your thing? If I was rich and cashed up to the eye balls, I'd smile and see it as flattery, but whilst I am scrounging through rubbish bins for my dinner (yet another of my little beauties.. I am calling this one 'poverty').. I'm kind of feeling like it is stealing.


  1. Perhaps you are taking "The One" to heights even Plotinus never dreamt of.

  2. After scouring the net to find out who this Man was that you speak of, I have come to see that you may be on to something Alex. :-)

  3. Ok. 'THe one' blog was really excellent. I thing you should flash it around and get it into a paper. Its on the money. move it. julie c

  4. you are so witty and clever when you write, it's scary. REALLY SCARY! LOL! beautifully written pieces. you should be writing a column somewhere ........... oh you are, here!

  5. Yes, and your subscription fees are over due!!! ;-)
    no wonder i am scrounging through rubbish bins ;-)