Friday, November 9, 2012
A while back I sent out an email to men I had dated and asked what they thought I should stop doing when on a date...Yeah, huge I know.. I am really opening myself up here, but hey, you only live once, or something like that....Anyway, a few people responded with 'we haven't actually been out on a date'... yeah, embarrassing!! We had, but I wasn’t going to get myself into an email war! Well, at least not another one (too many good people were taken out by friendly fire in the last one). Anyway, there is the point that maybe, just maybe, I have dated fewer people than I think I have, or maybe, just maybe I was such a bad date that these people have suppressed the memory of me and the event. Both of these are of course highly unlikely and the true answer is probably that these crap dates were too lazy to write!
Because I am a glutton for punishment, I also sent an email to my friends asking them what they think I should stop doing when on a date. My friends after all have repeatedly heard all about my disastrous dates. The most common response from dates and friends alike was "I haven't got enough time to write it all!!!" Second most common response was (and I am guessing this to be a highly sarcastic response), "Gee... That would be hard, you are the perfect date."
So far, no surprises, I mean seriously, I am single for a reason, and you know that haters are gonna hate... apparently. ;-)
I’ll also admit that there is some truth in some of what was sent to me, such as: 'He fusses over the small things' and the spot on: ‘You over-analyse things too much’, an obvious pitfall of dating a counsellor! One friend and fellow counsellor actually told me I needed to stop counselling dates, when out on a date! But if I stop doing this, how else do I drum up new business? This friend also suggested that to better give me some helpful responses, she best observe me on a date and then write up a report outlining her recommendations! Yep, counsellors! They're a weird mob! So while I am big enough to admit that there was some truth in those comments... seriously, where does 'stop picking your nose at dinner' come from? Anyone that really knows me, knows I use a handkerchief!! I think people were just making stuff up because they could, like this next response demonstrates: ‘Stop dating unicorns off the internet’ WTF???
Speaking of 'stop dating' and 'internet', there was an overwhelming response from just about all of my friends, for me to stop meeting men online. They felt that guys who were online (and using the same sites that I am on), are of a poor quality and possibly all mentally unwell… which kind of made me unsure what my friends were saying about me, considering I am also on said sites! As for improving my chances of meeting someone, my brother in-law suggested that I start going to the gym (and stop being overweight). Another friend similarly suggested that I desperately needed to improve my looks, but as that was not possible (poor me!), I needed to get rich as this would apparently make me 250% more attractive. Is it just me or are my friends shallow??
Other practical suggestions were to relax my dress standards, because according to one friend “moccasins, trakkie dax, towelling shorts are all perfectly acceptable attire”..Hmmm I am still not sure how to respond to that one (and yes, I was just calling others shallow ;-))… Most disturbing of all though was one dear friend who suggested that I start “Exploring the other half, and thereby increasing the dating pool by 100%”. Fortunately none of my dates suggested this, otherwise I would really be worried!
So there it is, and whatever that 'is', I have no idea except that maybe I need to just keep doing what I am doing, because obviously no one else has given me decent suggestions. I'd say that if it ain't broke don't fix it, but I am not sure how that will help me find a nice decent, down to earth, smart and funny man to date and maybe start a family with.....Hmm, if only they could clone me, for me. That would be a definite win-win! ;-)
Mind you, I do recall previously blogging about how dating myself might not work...