Sunday, August 29, 2010
Lately I have had a feeling of detachment from my home. It is hard to describe. While I love my space and my house… and others comment on the warm feel to the living areas… since I have returned from my overseas trip, I feel less anchored where I live. I feel less like my home is there. It is odd, because after many years of renting and constant moving, I yearned for a place to call my own, a home, where there was stability. A place where I knew I would be for as long as I choose to remain. I have lived in my home for about 9 years now… yes only 21 years left on the mortgage !!! But, now I have this strange sensation that my home is, well, becoming more my house. While my heart is still there and fills the space, I am ready for a space in which another heart resides and together we make the space a home for the both of us. It could be in my current house, or elsewhere… and as for when…well I am single..so who knows.. Currently I am just recognising how I feel. I guess it makes sense given that for so long I was closed to love, my heart was protecting itself, but now that I am ready to love and trust again I am recognising what this means. I know there are many single people who feel that their single space is their home, and that is fine, but for myself, I am feeling it less so each day. I am feeling ready to move. I have no idea where to, or what that means, but I feel ok about it.