Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Cause to smile.

I sit awaiting my lunch to arrive. I stare aimlessly at some random point in space and then just start thinking…My mind races from one idea to the next and for no reason in particular it decides to stop and explore one idea over any other. I start to think about the things that cause me to smile. My mind wonders back over past experiences. I look about the café, it’s not my usual place and for just a moment I feel a little vulnerable...I draw a deep breath and close my eyes. I sit in silence. My mind is clear and still. I invite in what ever wants to come. There is no pressure or expectation, just me in a half full café, open to whatever may be.

I recall; a firm hug from a once close friend that I hadn’t seen in a long while, the smell of pasta sauce bubbling away on the stove, looking a fool in front of my friends and then us all suddenly laughing deeply, the kindness of strangers in places where we did not share the same language, reading Emily Dickenson’s 'Because I could not stop for death'  aloud in the bath, looking out of the train window as rain fell lightly over the French countryside, my brother aged four or five climbing in to share my bed because he was scared, the sweet taste of a strawberry plucked from my garden, an email from a friend in New York arriving right before my eyes, bees buzzing around pollinating everything in my garden, the warmth of the sun on my face as I walk the neighbourhood listening to my walkman, lines from 'Cyrano De Bergerac' , hearing the opening bars of Neil young’s ‘heart of gold’, Lines from 'Pride and Prejudice', My dad telling me that my garden looks ‘ok’, placing a brand new record onto my turntable, being still and just listening to the outside world, a heartfelt ‘thank you’ from a client, the sound of the rain on the roof as I lay in bed with a past love, Section 6 of Walt Whitman’s Song of myself’, country drives, looking out across the sea, life itself...

The waiter arrives with my lunch. I stop day-dreaming and find that I am amazed that so many things came to me and yet I have only begun remembering. This thought makes me smile even more.

Life is full of beautiful moments. We live them and then they remain, waiting to be remembered.

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful post, Matthew. just lovely.