Dear young lovers,
I have been meaning to write to you for some time now or for even longer.
You don't know me, yet you once were me. Or rather, I was you.
Now you surround me and your presence warmly reminds me of something that is no more.
Dear young lovers, you are special. You are wonderful. I love that you exist and are here. I love that when you fall in love, as you so often and so quickly do, that you don't question or even entertain the thought that your love won't last forever. No, the feelings you feel are so strong and all consuming, that there is no space for anything else, so how could you entertain any other notion? Sure there are times where you are nervous and scared as all hell to love or even speak it's name, but when you do love, you love with all you have, with every iota of your being.You trust implicitly and you feel and believe that the moment will last forever and I love you for that.
Then as you get older, like me, the cynicism of experience, the many betrayals and heartbreaks, lead you to trust less and less each time. It leads you to never allowing yourself to feel love as uninhibitedly as you once did. In your ear whispers the voice of fear, always warning you, 'becareful' it says, 'you know you're only going to be hurt again!' Everything you say is more measured and restrained. You no longer speak straight from the heart, now each thought and feeling goes through a barrage of filters. You tentatively explore each response and are mindful that you may never be able to deliver or live up to the promises that you once so easily and so earnestly made. Promises and statements such as; 'I will always love you', 'our love will last forever', 'I could never love anyone else', or, 'I could never live without you'. When the truth is that you can live without them and you will love again. The truth is that each time you lose love and are hurt, you tend to love less, to trust less and to live less and less in the moment and more and more in fear of what hurt may come. Cynicism creeps in and slowly you start to mistrust, to be guarded and to think about your self more and your own needs, because experience has taught you that sooner or later this will end and it will once more just be you.
Don't get me wrong young lovers, I don't want you to stop. I don't want you to change one little thing about you or what you do. I want you to continue, forever, just like your love. Would you be surprised to hear that every time I see you I smile and feel alive again? You are a reminder of my past and of times that are no more. Thank you young lovers for being you, for being a wonderful reminder of how precious each moment is and how we do not have enough time in our short, short lives to waste living in fear or in a shroud of cynicism.
Dear young lovers
I wish you all the best and though I know it won't last, a part of me still hopes that it does,
if not not for you, then for all of us.
matthew.
Ah but Matthew, the nature of love is such that it can happen when you least expect it, however jaded...
ReplyDeleteawwwwww...Matty... what a stunning blog post !
ReplyDelete'...because experience has taught you that sooner or later this will end and it will once more just be you.'
geezus, that one really hits hard, doesn't it...
but, i'd also like to think that, 'with every end, there is a beginning'...
TBB you are right and I agree, every end is a new beginning.
DeleteSome may think I am being cynical or jaded, but I am not. I am reflecting on experience and I am still hopeful.
:-)
Life is what we make of it, it is how we perceive and respond/react to what we experience. We will find what we want. If we want to find fault we will. IF we want to find beauty and love we will.