Saturday, August 14, 2010

Enjoy your worries…..

I think of the blog posting I made-  "like a child waiting for christmas", and think about how I was not completely honest.. and it annoys me.. I was scared. I was scared to be honest with myself. I withheld a feeling- fear. To voice it is to make it real and I wasn’t ready to do so. I also withheld thoughts, possibly irrational, that relate to that fear. Thoughts of; ‘what if I don’t hear back ’, ‘maybe I haven’t heard back because something has happened? accident??  OMG!!!’, ‘what if they don’t want to talk to me anymore?’. This last one is the underlying one. The fear that we all have when we like someone, especially a new friend, will they/do they like us back?  One of the few things of ourselves that we can really give is our truth. Our truth, our honesty, is something precious. It can be scary to give this, doing so can leave us open to potential hurt or harm. But we need honesty in this world. Sure there are those that will abuse it, but I don’t believe that should stop us from being honest.

So I think about my fears…. my worries.. and a track by The Books called ‘enjoy your worries, you may never have them again’ springs to mind. Such lovely sentiment.  (Click here to watch it -I think this is a fan made clip/movie).

I think about my tendency to be slightly neurotic at times. I blame all those Woody Allen films I loved, all the episodes of ‘Seinfeld’ and ‘Curb your enthusiasm’ that have encouraged me, truth be told, I have seen them as an excuse to revel in neuroticism. So perhaps I shall try a different tack, and enjoy my worries instead of worrying over them. Doing so can only make me more at ease in being honest, especially with myself.

No comments:

Post a Comment