The Rules of Engagement- dating.

Rules? yeah my life is full of them.. I am constantly creating new rules, redefining old ones and stealing other people’s rules...Does this make dealing with me a nightmare? Probably.


Recently I have been back out there! Yep, you know it - dating!!! I am back in the game.. and man, do I and my rules not fit into this new and crazy modern world of dating! Every guy I date has broken a multitude of my rules... Because it's hard to follow the rules if you don't know what they are, I am thinking that maybe I need to print up a little hand book for prospective dates to be able to study and then apply when meeting?


Here are some things from my recent experiences that would definitely be in that little golden book of information:


- First dates are about getting to know each other, but having said that, I probably don't need to HEAR (and in detail), all ABOUT your EX'S and the PROBLEMS you had with them.


- Dates are where we 'get to know each other' through conversation. This means that you need to take some time out from talking about YOU and actually ask me some questions about me....and LISTEN.


- If you have a mental health issue that isn't glaringly obvious, SERIOUSLY THINK about whether I need to know about that on date #1


- Date #1 is our opportunity to highlight how amazing we both are, and to convince the other person that we are worth seeing again. So, I would strongly suggest you refrain from telling me that; you are a SLOB/your house is a mess, that you do not cook, that you are LAZY, that you take a shit load of recreational DRUGS (possibly even selling them to support your own usage), you are on Grindr and love 'SEX on site' venues.

- If for what ever reason you can't dress appropriately for date #1, make sure you make an extra effort in date #2.. and just for the record, TRACK SUIT PANTS ARE NOT AN EFFORT!


-  If a date ends with a handshake, the next one can't start with a kiss on the lips. You have to read the situation and respond accordingly!


- Try to avoid racist comments...I had one Australian guy tell me that 'wogs are hot!'.. I guess he thought that would turn me on..... in a word- no!


- While out on the date, or even whilst spending any time with me, if you happen to see other men you find attractive, DON"T OGLE them and comment on how HOT you think they are. It is even WORSE if they are obviously MORE HANDSOME than me, LESS FAT than me, dress better or just seem better than me in any and every way!.. And no, I don't have a fragile sense of self, or low self esteem! well... nothing that I will discuss until at least after date #4, 5 or 6.


-The mind is sexy, so use it to be cheeky and a little suggestive. BLATANT comments about your SEXUAL needs and desires,…. whilst  may be great for making sure that your 'SHAG' will match your immediate 'needs', are not really so appropriate for a nice first date.


- We've all had it tough at some point in our lives, so don't bother with EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATIVE comments, aimed at getting me to fulfill your needs. I have a mother (in other words a Supreme Master of Emotional Blackmail), and if I can beat the Supreme Master and remain guilt free, you'll only come away with my scorn emblazoned on your retina.

Oh, and lastly, if your date cooks for you, NO MATTER how bad the food is, find something honest and complimentary to say about it…….and if they offer to cook again for you, NEVER EVER say anything remotely like 'Yeah this time you might get it right!'

If you have any 'rules' which you think I should add to my ever growing list... please let me know by adding them in as a comment!!!

the 90's.. again.

There must be something in the air or the water..as no sooner then do NME post a list of their 100 best songs of the 90's , Triple J have a 90's week!!!!
Triple J's request show- 'Good nights' with Linda Marigliano asked people to vote for their favorite 90's tunes.. the top five were:


5. Sir Mix-a-lot - "Baby got back"


4. Garbage - "Push it". I personally prefer their first single'Vow'


3. Regurgitator - Blubber boy (Such a great Aussie band and still making music!! This clip is very cool and I bet they had heaps of fun making it!)




2. Beastie Boys - 'Sabotage"


1. Nirvana - "Come as you are". I posted the Live 'MTV unplugged' version.. just because 'MTV unplugged' was very 90's!





From the  NME list, I thought I'd share a couple of tunes. So many great tunes, but alas, I can't post 100 clips :-(

100. Coolio – “Gangsta’s Paradise”
99. Black Grape – “Reverend Black Grape”
98. Paul Weller – “The Changingman”
97. Snoop Doggy Dogg – “Who Am I? (What’s My Name)”
96. New Radicals – “You Get What You Give”
95. Guns N’ Roses – “November Rain”
94. Leftfield – “Open Up”
93. James – “Laid”
92. Dr. Dre – “Nuthin’ But A ‘G’ Thang”
91. Pulp – “Babies”

 Pulp 'made it' with the Common People LP, but this tune from the earlier 1994 Lp 'His 'n' Hers' is a personal fav.. especially with lines like "Oh I want take you home, I want give you children, you might be my girlfriend, yeah!".. hmm Jarvis, did those lines actually work???!!
Pulp – “Babies”



90. A Tribe Called Quest – “Can I Kick It?”. (Can I kick it? Yes you can!.. umm hang on.. Was Bob the builder 'inspired' by this??).




At 89 in the list is Belle & Sebastian – “The Boy With The Arab Strap”. I love early Belle & Sebastian! “The Boy With The Arab Strap” is from the 1998 LP of the same name. Great lyrics like:
"A central location for you is a must as you stagger about making free with your lewd and lascivious boasts
We know you are soft cause we've all seen you dancing
We know you are hard cause we all saw you drinking from noon
Until noon again
You're the boy with the filthy laugh
You're the boy with the arab strap"

Belle & Sebastian – “The Boy With The Arab Strap”



88. Metallica – “Enter Sandman”
87. Manic Street Preachers – “A Design For Life”
86. Oasis – “Wonder Wall”
85. Sonic Youth – “Sugar Kane”
84. No Doubt – “Don’t Speak”

83. Happy Mondays – “Step On”

Forget that cover! From the same Lp (1990's 'Pills n Thrills and Bellyaches'), is this corker of a tune- 'Kinky Afro'. Great Lyrics like:
"Son, I'm 30
I only went with your mother 'cause she's dirty
And I don't have a decent bone in me
What you get is just what you see"

Happy Mondays – 'Kinky Afro'



82. 2Pac – “California Love”
81. Ride – “Vapour Trail”
80. Beta Band – “Dry The Rain”
79. Deee-Lite – “Groove Is In The Heart”
78. The KLF – “What Time Is Love?”
77. Air – “Sexy Boy”
76. Primal Scream – “Come Together”
75. Hole – “Celebrity Skin”
74. New Order – “Regret”
73. Sinead O’Connor – “Nothing Compares 2 U”
72. Cornershop – “Brimful Of Asha (Fatboy Slim Remix)”
71. Wu-Tang Clan – “Protect Ya Neck”
70. Radiohead – “Creep”
69. Björk – “Hyperballad”
68. The Chemical Brothers – “Hey Boy Hey Girl”
67. Tricky – “Hell Is Round The Corner”
66. Brandy & Monica – “The Boy Is Mine”
65. U2 – “One”
64. Missy Elliott – “The Rain (Supa Dupa Fly)”
63. Spiritualized – “Ladies And Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space”
62. Pearl Jam – “Alive”
61. The Lemonheads – “It’s A Shame About Ray”
60. The Breeders – “Cannonball”
59. Green Day – “Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)”
58. The Cure – “Friday I’m In Love”
57. Elliott Smith – “Needle In The Hay”
56. Ol’ Dirty Bastard – “Got Your Money”
55. The Fugees – “Ready Or Not”
54. Lauryn Hill – “Doo Wop (That Thing)”
53. Elastica – “Stutter”
52. Nirvana – “Lithium”
51. The Stone Roses – “One Love”



50. Supergrass – “Caught By The Fuzz”. This is a corker of a song!




49. R.E.M. – “Losing My Religion”
48. Blur – “For Tomorrow”
47. House Of Pain – “Jump Around”
46. Saint Etienne – “Only Love Can Break Your Heart”
45. TLC – “No Scrubs”
44. The Beastie Boys – “Intergalactic”
43. Blackstreet – “No Diggity”
42. Beck – “Where It’s At”
41. The Charlatans – “The Only One I Know”
40. Super Furry Animals – “If You Don’t Want Me To Destroy You”
39. Boo Radleys – “Lazarus”
38. Julee Cruise – “Falling”
37. Daft Punk – “Around The World”
36. Mazzy Star – “Fade Into You”
35. Nick Cave & Kylie Minogue – “Where The Wild Roses Grow”
34. Portishead – “Glory Box”
33. The Prodigy – “No Good (Start The Dance)”
32. The Smashing Pumpkins – “1979″
31. Massive Attack – “Unfinished Sympathy”
30. Underworld – “Born Slippy”
29. Blur – “Girls And Boys”
28. Foo Fighters – “Everlong”
27. PJ Harvey – “Down By The Water”
26. Warren G – “Regulate”
25. The Verve – “History”
24. Kelis – “Caught Out There”
23. Jeff Buckley – “The Last Goodbye”
22. Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds – “Into My Arms”
21. Oasis – “Live Forever”
20. Green Day – “Basket Case”
19. Ash – “Girl From Mars”
18. Blur – “Song 2″


17. Weezer – “Buddy Holly” (Spike Jonze creates an amazing "Happy Days" clip)





16. Eminem – “My Name Is”
15. Radiohead – “Street Spirit (Fade Out)”
14. Suede – “Animal Nitrate”
13. Primal Scream – “Loaded”
12. Madonna – “Vogue”
11. The Verve – “Bittersweet Symphony”
10. Rage Against The Machine – “Killing In The Name”
09. McAlmont & Butler – “Yes”
08. Daft Punk – “Da Funk”
07. The Beastie Boys – “Sabotage”
06. Oasis – “Supersonic”
05. Manic Street Preachers – “Motorcycle Emptiness”
04. Radiohead – “Paranoid Android”
03. Suede – “Stay Together”
02. Nirvana – “Smells Like Teen Spirit”
01. Pulp – “Common People”

Putting the 'boy' into Tomboy Bill: Cigarettes and Alcohol

Recently Tomboy Bill and I, had fun doing a photo-shoot in the new Tomboy Bill studio. Tomboy 'dragged' it up and I took a gazillion photographs. Here are a few from that session.



                                                        Tomboy Bill

                                                       'Cigarettes...

                                                       ...and Alcohol'

Check out Tomboy Bill's website for some great art!: http://tomboybill.com/

All photographs Copyright Matthew Schiavello 2012

What is it with...'Pass on my regards'?

I hate the whole 'pass on my regards'... unless the parties know each other and all are open to receiving each others regards. It can be an unwelcome imposition...because once you receive the regards, you then have to return the regards and people can be offended if their regards are not returned or returned appropriately. That in itself is a whole other blog piece! My parents are always telling me to pass on their regards to people they don't know... I am like 'Why?.. you don't know them.. they don't know you.. what is the point?'. I flatly refuse to do this.. where does this sort of behavior lead to? Will my parents feel some sort of connection and invite themselves along to events?... or ask to say hello to these people on the phone and have long conversations? Crazy stuff!

Recently I mentioned to a friend that I was off to a very sad event and upon hearing where it was to be held, my mate lit up. "Oh say hello to 'X', he will be there. He is lovely, I knew him well, years back. He had a nickname.. it was ' Mama'!..make sure you use his nickname when you say hello!!!".  I couldn't help but think this was just a little odd and you all already know my feelings on passing on regards. Apparently my mate and the rest of 'Mama's' friends all thought he looked 'like a big fat Italian mama'!, hence the nickname. Kudos to them for being brave in the face of political correctness! I planned not to pass on any regards and let the whole topic of conversation, slide off into a deep dark hole, except that my mate kept going on about it, "Oh yeah, Mama was such a great guy, seriously make sure you say hello and pass on my regards, and make sure you call him MAMA, MAMA, MAMA!!!!"' So I get to this event...and like most people, I am sure would have done, I could have lied to my mate and told him- 'Oh yeah, I passed on your regards and he said the same back' and then quickly changed the topic of conversation... but no, not me....and do you know  why not me?, because I am my own worst enemy! So.. all through this serious and sad event, I am waiting for the right moment to go up and pass on the regards.... finally I spy my chance...I approach Mama and introduce myself...and in case you are wondering, no, at no time did I refer to him as 'Mama'.

Mama is thrilled that my mate recalled him, "Oh, that's great, I have been wondering what happened to him, how is he going, what is he up to , how do you know him.." Yes.. I was suddenly being cross examined. All the while my mind is racing.. can I share that bit of info with Mama? Does Mama know that my mate is gay and has a same sex partner... ekk!!! WTF can I share??!!!!!!!   I am in a right pickle and feeling that suddenly this is getting really tricky. I am cursing my mate for putting me in this awkward position....I mean, look.. Mama looks gay and my gaydar says he is .. but is he? and even so, does my mate want him to know?  I am feeling that this is becoming way too hard and just as I am thinking of my exit plan, Mama asks me for my mates phone number.. I freeze.. and then say idiotically 'err, ummm yeah.. look he is in the process of moving.. and changing numbers..so why don't you give me your number and when he gets a new landline and calls me, I'll pass on your number for him to call you'.. OMG I am brilliant!!!.... until I remember that just about everyone has a mobile phone... and the whole thing sounds made up... I think Mama thought the same thing at the exact same time I did and his face drops as a painfully awkward silence follows. After what seems an eternity, Mama replies, ''Umm yeah.. ok.. I'll grab you later and pass on my number,' I have to say that I was puzzled, what?, mama couldn't give me his number right now? Is this an excuse? I start to feel annoyed and a little angry and as Mama leaves I am suddenly filled with fear that maybe Mama thought that I wanted his number for myself? Maybe, Mama thought that I liked him?? yikes!!!!  Oh man.. I hate this whole 'pass on my regards' thing!!!!

 So there I am cursing my mate for creating this insane situation ... grumble, grumble... when I begin to wonder if maybe I was overcautious with not giving out my mate's number.. You know, he was really keen on me passing on his regards and he did talk a lot about how lovely Mama was and how much he liked Mama, etc... So I call my mate on my mobile (because as you know, just about everyone has one).

Me- "Hi, I am at that event I told you about and met your mate"
My Mate- "What event?, what mate?"
Me- "Umm you know.. that sad event at X.. and your mate X"
My Mate- "Sorry Matthew, I am confused, and not sure what you are talking about"
Me, Screaming shrilly and about smash my phone against the nearest persons head- "MAMA!!!!!!! MAMA!!!!!!"
My Mate, oblivious to my tone and my screaming- "Oh yeah!!, Mama!! hey, how is he, did you pass on my regards, he is such a nice guy"
Me- "Yeah I did and he asked me for your number.. I don't like giving out peoples number's without their 'ok', first...so..I asked him for his number and said I'd pass it on"
My Mate- "Phew!!! Good one, yeah, God no.. don't give him my number!!!, Not sure if I want to talk to him, anyway, gotta go, chat later.. thanks for passing on my regards!"

At this, I am just numb.. Ummm, what just happened? Even now, weeks later I still don't understand. All I know for sure is, there is a reason I dislike the whole 'pass on my regards'!

something old, something new, something borrowed & something blue - June 2012

Something old:
Two tracks here to enjoy.. firstly the not-that-old, in fact just from last year, Mogwai's beautiful 'Does this always happen'. It is off their  'Earth Division' EP.

Mogwai 'Does this always happen'



Secondly - Sam Cooke's tune 'A change is gonna come' as beautifully performed by Otis Redding.
This off the Brilliant 1966 'Otis Blue/Otis Redding sings Soul'  LP.
Otis Redding-'A change is gonna come'



Something new:

This clip is so beautiful. Oh, and the band is great as well.. I have a few of their Lp's, but  haven't given the new LP a good listen yet. This clip is filled with so many wonderful moments. 

Explosions in the Sky- "Postcard from 1952" 



I can't recall if i have posted this next track before.. but Stereogum, recently posted it as the top clip so far in 2012, so lets check it out again, if only because it is freaking cool!!..

MIA- 'Bad Girls'



Something borrowed:

Lisa Mitchell's great cover of M83's 'Midnight city'.From Triple J's like a version.

Lisa Mitchell- 'Midnight City'



Something blue:

From the brilliant Lp, 'Songs of Love and Hate'. This track is filled with so many great lines, but then again what Leonard song isn't?  Still every time I hear  "And thanks for the trouble you took from her eyes I thought it was there for good so I never tried", my breath catches.

Leonard Cohen- Famous Blue raincoat. (Live in 1979)